besided being sad about Onyx, i had a horrible day.

i cried in the courtyard of my school, but my friends comforted me... all but one. my besf friend ignored me the whole day. during lunch, when i saw her she told me she didnt want to be anywhere near me because she didnt want to get depressed too. i wanted to say something, but i didnt know what to say. i cried, and walked away from her.
when i really need her, she was not there. i wanted her to comfort me, but she was didnt.

if she feels that for her own good that she needs to stay away from me, then im fine with that. i want her to be happy, and even if it means to stay away from me.
i still really care for her, and as long as this was what she prefered, then im ok with it. i still love her.

im sad about something else too.
my freaken cousin. he came over for dinner, and we were talking about Christmas gifts. last year i gave my family members each a copied piece of my art, and this year i wanted to do the same, just with completely new drawings. my cousin didnt say anything. (btw, he is like 30, so he drives me places a lot if i need him) i was like, whut??? u dont like it??
and he said he didnt like it at all. he didnt want a drawing from me, he said my art doesnt take time or talent to do.
i almost went on a rant, but i didnt.
so i walked away.....

im tired of people ignoring or not liking me. its happened a lot this week and last week. it suks D>